It was late May and finally turning to Summer and all the mud from the snow that melted in Spring was finally drying up. I was seventeen and school was out and when it started up again I'd be a senior and for the first time in my whole entire life the boy I liked liked me back.
Like it could even get any better, he was 19 and had a car and would drive me around wherever I wanted and bought me cigarettes and sometimes he brought me to parties even though I knew and he knew some of his friends didn't like me.
One time he even bought a CD I was looking for. He bought it for himself, but I knew it was really for me because I said something about it and why else would he just buy that CD? It wasn't even a whole album even, it was an EP, and I saw it in his car one day and I just knew he really liked me even though he hadn't really said anything about it except that he thought I was cute, but he was drunk so it didn't really count.
One time we were talking and joking and he made me laugh so hard and I said, because I said it a lot to my friends but never really meant it, "I love you!" and I felt so embarrassed because it was like the first time that maybe I actually did.
He took me to a store one time and I searched and searched for a new CD he would think was cool and think I was cool for liking. I wanted something that would make me stand out, you know? Like something that most girls didn't like or wouldn't know about, but boys did and so I'd be different. When I finally found just the thing, something screaming and loud that I would hate in six months, he actually wasn't that impressed at all and I had to pretend that I hadn't made a mistake and act like I really liked it even though I only sort of did.
One time he said I was a mermaid, which was silly because we weren't near the ocean or anything. I don't think we ever even went swimming together.
Of course it didn't work out.
Sunday, January 22
The Forbidden Love EP
I wrote a story. I don't love it but this is actually the second piece I've written this month which is more than I've done in about a year or so. Feels good. Anyway, I think it deserves the song that inspired it, so it's there at the bottom.