Wednesday, May 16

Summer Movies

I saw Cabin in the Woods when it premiered in April. Bottom line: if you're a fan of the horror genre or anything Joss Whedon has done (read: huge nerd), it's a must see. If you like scary movies, it's an entertaining movie, but it probably won't live up to the hype. A lot of the jokes, story, and even scares may be lost on you if you're not very aware of horror movie culture.
If you have seen Cabin in the Woods already, I have a rant. There are spoilers.
Joss Whedon, who co-wrote the movie, is touted as a fantastic writer-of-women, and I don't disagree with this. He's created a myriad of strong, interesting female characters and is himself a feminist. So walking into Cabin in the Woods, I was expecting a distinct lack of fan service, yet still found myself initially disappointed by the scene in which the "whore" takes off her blouse for her boyfriend. Coinciding with this scene is another scene set in the underground facility where a group of male engineers has gathered, open mouthed, to watch her disrobe. The new guy says something about how wrong what they're all doing is, and in response one of the engineers says, "We're not the only ones watching."
This comment is, at surface, in reference to The Gods, but upon thinking about it, I realized it's also in reference to the movie's audience. The majority of horror movie-goers are young, heterosexual men who walk out of movie theaters every day saying things like "Would have been better if there were tits," and I think it's a safe bet that without that single nude scene some movie producer or executive would have poo-pooed about a lack of sex appeal. The scene was fan service for the sake of fan service, and the group of slavering creeps gathered to watch her undress are no different than those guys who rate otherwise amazing movies B's for their lack of B cups (Ha! I'm hilarious!).
I'm sad that the joke was so nuanced that most of the audience will fail to see that it's at their expense, or that it's a joke at all, but I appreciate the nod to people like me who don't feel comfortable when women are objectified. Also, for the movie's credit, there is also an extended scene in which a male character disrobes, and while he is very nice to look at and clearly being objectified himself, it's not the same. Maybe show me his penis next time.

Alien is in my Top Five All-Time Favorite Movies. It's a perfect movie. Sigourney Weaver, Jonesy, the perfectly built tension, the chest burster scene, the set, that scene where she sets the ship to detonate and then has to stop it! The space jockey (One of our lifetime's greatest mysteries, soon to be solved!), the face hugger, Tom Skerrit gooped to the wall saying "Kiiillllllll meeeee", the scene where she's in the escape pod and the Xenomorph climbs out of that little crawlspace in the wall, THE XENOMORPH ITSELF. It's incredible. It's perfect.
I have high hopes for Prometheus. I've seen this trailer twice now and can't watch it anymore because every other day I'm asking when the movie comes out and upsetting myself when I realize it's still weeks away from melting my brain with awesomeness. I can not wait. Midnight screening for sure.

As much as I like to pretend I'm bad ass and like beers and rock and roll and how that one time I spent 16 hours in jail hardened me, it's a sham. I really like cats and flowers and lemonade beer and different kinds of ribbon and Wes Anderson movies. Obviously I'm excited for Moonrise Kingdom. I'll probably ride a bike to the theater and eat some twee candies, too. Or sushi. I haven't decided which will look better on Instagram.

I love creatures, monsters and mutants, and it's a no-brainer that the creepies in this movie are hideous mutated village people who stayed in the exclusion zone despite the Chernobyl melt down and kept having mutant babies and eating any passers-by and probably each other, too. Are you kidding me? Of course I want to see Chernobyl Diaries.

In the middle of this new trailer for Brave, a Gaelic song starts playing and I just burst into tears every time. Okay, that's a lie. I start crying when she shoots the second arrow and it splits the first one. Oh God, I found the song. I'm crying. I'm crying right now.

I don't like anyone in Magic Mike, I don't care for Steven Soderbergh, I have very little interest in male strippers, and to be honest this movie looks absolutely awful. However, I love Showgirls, and it's arguably one of the worst movies ever made, so maybe that's why I am so jazzed to see this.

I didn't see the first two movies in this trilogy until last summer, but they lived up to the hype, so I expect just as much awesome from The Dark Knight Rises, despite some strange and possibly unfortunate casting. I'm sick of your un-aging face, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and don't even get me started with you, Bland Hathaway. I was actually more excited for this movie with the first few teaser trailers. The most recent one (the one posted above) is super intense until that last bit at the end. For lack of a better term, I'm a little bit soft for TDKR now.

1 comment:

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