Tuesday, September 25

HOTDOGS

"Loaded up hotdogs often come with loads of extra fat, calories and carbs. Instead of a frank, try slipping a banana in that bun! Add onions, relish, and spicy mustard for a fresh, healthy take on a classic summer treat!"

A few months ago I very stupidly accepted a free subscription to Women's Health magazine. If you have never read an issue of Women's Health, I recommend you do not. It's really terrible. Last month had an article about what kind of lingerie was best for certain body types. If I'm ever so gracious as to let a person see me in my underwear, I really would like to that think they'd be appreciating and thinking about the fact that they're probably going to get laid, not, "Gee, she should have gone with a balconette bra to make her wide shoulders seem smaller..." There was also something called "The Skinny Jeans Workout". I have to work out to wear jeans now? They're jeans. I thought the best part of jeans was that everyone looked great in them regardless of whether or not they worked out?
A huge, often hilarious part of magazines like these is the really terrible food advice they give. They're always telling you how to save a few calories by omitting something or replacing it with this or that. Some of it is pretty legit (Greek yogurt instead of sour cream/mayo, cottage cheese in your scrambled eggs, it sounds gross, try it, it's amazing!), but most of it is terrible and awful. Like, instead of dressing, even instead of something sensible like 30 calorie balsamic vinaigrette dressing on my salad, you think I should just add a spritz of lemon juice? Get out of my house.
I've been eating a lot, like, honestly, a ton of hotdogs lately and as I was cooking up one today for my afternoon snack I thought about what Women's Health magazine might write about hotdogs, like in their special "Skinny Barbeque!" feature. Ew. Just give me a hotdog.

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